- Cyber, Cads and Confidentiality.
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Cybersex is a virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connect through a computer network to send sexually explicit written messages describing their actions and responding to their chat partners to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies. Cybersex can sometimes include real life masturbation. However, unlike phone sex, it is unusual for someone to pay for these experiences.
Phone sex is the older cousin of cyber sex. Like cyber sex it does not involve physical contact between parties, although it has been argued that use of the voice adds a more intimate element than the writing of words. The more modern version of phone sex is via voicemail and pc audio systems.
Due to the potential for emotional intimacy and mutual masturbation between those who have engaged in phone sex, it is a matter of some debate whether phone and cybersex are to be considered a form of infidelity/cheating when involving a person outside of a committed personal relationship.
So how do these ways of interacting fit into the social mores governing intimate relationships.
1) Do the same conventions and expectations of privacy and confidentiality and trust apply?
2) If they don't, should that be made clear between B/both parties before embarking on what is, in modern relationships, a means for mutual masturbatory experiences?
3) Does the absence of physical touch preclude the usual expectations of trust?
4) Is it acceptable for one party to cut and paste and make public an intimate and sexually explicit im, pm or email without the consent of the other participant?
5) Is such behaviour a form of bragging of sexual exploits to mates in a bar.
6) If Y/you found that a male had done such a thing to a previous female partner would that in any way cause Y/you to hesitate to embark on cybersex with him?
7) If Y/you had found that copies of Y/your sexual encounters were being handed around with the purpose of causing Y/you damage or distress would Y/your response be different?
Whilst these situations have (thankfully) not been something i have had the misfortune to experieince, there are at least two women in Lit at the moment who are in the intolerable position of having a male cyber partner currently making intimate, written sexually explicit exchanges publicly known.
This seem to me to be a rather vulger and caddish form of 'kiss and tell'. Fortunately their actions have been blatant and their identities known.
A cautionary tale perhaps?
Comments
(13 total) Post a CommentOne who does that kind of thing would do it wether on line or in *real life*......it is obviuosly a character trait......Trust is as deserved,and should be found on here, as anywhere else....a good blog...thought provoking.....
Monday March 5, 2007 - 05:23am (PST) Remove Comment
- serap…
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Any guy who does this needs to have his dangly bits cut off. ...when a Man shares intimacy with a woman the details remain between the two people. Whether physical or cybersex makes no difference. Sexual intimacy is sexual intimacy.
Guys that kiss and tell are pathetic enough and best avoided by women, Guys that pull this type of stunt are not even Men, they are pathetic worms hiding behind computer screens. In real life any guy that pulled a stunt like this would be facing a very messy and unpleasant situation...(makes a note to get the names of these worms from Blonde).
A timely warning Blonde.
Monday March 5, 2007 - 12:00pm (GST) Remove Comment
Excellent blog..i have heard of this happening more and more over the past year or two. people have to be very careful of IM's considering they can be saved and used for purposes unknown at later dates.
Monday March 5, 2007 - 06:08am (PST) Remove Comment
Messages saved? And passed around? I am shocked, shocked I tell you!
Monday March 5, 2007 - 09:20am (EST) Remove Comment
- _ _ _
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It really, really is pathetic... that someone would do that for the sole purpose of making someone else's life difficult. What do they have to gain from passing around "archives" of cyber, one has to ask themselves... what do they have to gain.... hopefully, their intentions are considered critically when buying in to what some of these men are selling. Just my two cents. *smile*
Monday March 5, 2007 - 09:50am (CST) Remove Comment
- THE B…
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It would certainly seem to be a very sorry state of affairs for a man to kiss and tell, let alone in such a dreadful way. In these instances, one was a Lit nic and one was on another site.
Tuesday March 6, 2007 - 03:45am (EST) Remove Comment
- Cowbo…
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Not my style--I never kiss and tell...what is said in private--STAYS in private. In my younger years as a Lit chatter, a woman whom I was involved with in cyber requested pics....and she made $$$ by posting them on a website with rude, hurtful comments (Like "Would YOU have sex with THIS?). Hence, my trust level has to be VERY high for anyone to get a compromising pic...something most will rarely see. Once bitten; twice shy!
Monday March 5, 2007 - 06:01pm (GMT) Remove Comment
smiling up... seems that all agree the men are cads... so glad my One is of a different ilk...
Monday March 5, 2007 - 01:50pm (EST) Remove Comment
- noxious
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I've often found that the ones who brag the most have the least to brag about.
I so don't miss Lit lol.
Although, whomever is doing that would be good for ripping up into tiny pieces.
Tuesday March 6, 2007 - 08:01am (NZDT) Remove Comment
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thinks guys like that are real jerks maybe he is such a dam loser in real life that the prospect of having an encounter with a woman on the internet is to much for him to handle in his real life so he needs to go bragging about it.thats why what is said to me or who ive played with and what is and was done is kept to myself and to that jackass loser get frigginn real cause it could be the last you see of any good woman and with all the above i agree with
Monday March 5, 2007 - 11:01am (PST) Remove Comment
That's just sad.
Monday March 5, 2007 - 01:20pm (PST) Remove Comment
- Aragorn
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It never ceases to amaze Me that such lowlifes exist.*Nods* at the responses above
Tuesday March 6, 2007 - 02:18pm (EST) Remove Comment
- THE B…
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i think one of the guys is only in his early 20's so perhaps it is merely a maturity thing..
Tuesday March 6, 2007 - 10:03pm (EST)
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