Sunday, June 21, 2009

sub-zone Aftercare: The A-E for Online Doms and subs!(repost)


171 magnify
IMPORTANT:
sub-zone Aftercare for Doms and subs!

WOW....*grins*...there's a few good zones happening out there... that's GREAT! On a more serious not though, there are also a few drops and crashes happening ...and this would be a bad thing ...

REPEAT AFTER me....

..." A BAD THING" ...

There is almost inevitably a crash or drop at some point, for one of two main reasons:

1) The Dom is unsure of the length of time He needs to provide aftercare

2) The sub hasn't advised Him of what is happening.

For example:

" wow.... talk about timing... i had a particularly intense subspace this past week with Sir.... and i have been "suffering" (emotional, withdrawn, confused, floating) for DAYS since....thank you for posting this... it has helped me immensely in understanding what the hell has been going on with me... *smiles*" (from 'c')



*smiles*.. thanks for posting this c... it brings me nicely to the next stage... Aftercare:

1) Lots of gentle stroking and praise will help to bring the sub down gently (the magic words.... ' you did so well... good girl ... beautiful girl... Master is so proud of you....' and of course anything relating to 'love' ... works very very well)

2) Please note.. the more intense the experience the longer it may take for the chemicals to re-balance .. *ahem*.... like DAYS!!!!!! ... Sooooo.. an hour of cuddling just ain't gonna cut it! Be prepared for the 'long haul' Doms!

3) subs ... track what is going on ... and CALL HIM if He is not in the house ...LET HIM KNOW ... a phone call; His voice will get you through each phase. Do NOT be a martyr ... remember He took you there, it's His responsibility to get you back safely!

4) Doms ... talk over the experience .. " have her close her eyes.. and SOFTLY in 'that Dom voice' .. walk her through..the experience .. let her know all that transpired and how she did .. walk her through it and let her know at each step of it how she responded, how she made Him feel .... This is what you (the sub) did.. this is how you (the sub) made ME feel! In short.. this is how intense MY feeling were for you (the sub); this is how you pleasured ME! How powerful it made ME feel "

5) Doms ...it takes time for the chemicals to balance again.. especially after a very intense experience. You need to instruct Your sub to contact You the moment she feels tense, jittery, anxious, depressed or frightened or just generally 'over-emotional'.. remember, this may be even up to a couple of days after the experience. Physical presence, touch and voice are essential.

6) Doms ... contact for regular 'check ups' on her. If at work.. a phone call to her is very, very helpful. Instructions and directions are very helpful to refocus and redirect her.. eg: talk her through it and reaffirm again..perhaps instruct her in small tasks.. ' when you get off the phone I want you to make a cup of tea ... get your blanky' etc. Instruct her in small services for You (the latter also helps the Dom to avoid 'Dom drop'.)

7) Physical reassurance.. ok now this may sound silly.. but a 'special' soft polar fleece throw rug or baby blanket scented with His aftershave or soap is invaluable. Think of it like a 'woobie' or safety blanket. It is the blanket that HE uses to wrap her in when His physical presence is not there... associated only with T/their time together and for her comfort and reassurance..*lol*... not just any old blanky will do .. this is the SPECIAL BLANKY! (*see pic above for my "Aragorn blanky*) if i am travelling interstate or overseas.. the blanky (*woobie) comes with me.

For online... Doms: Here is the ABCDE

a) Aftercare: send Your sub something soft and plush or fleecy (eg: throw rug or teddy bear).. sprayed with Your aftershave or washed with Your shampoo..

b)Blanky or bear MUST be fully dried before posting to her!!

c) Check she has it close when talking to You over phone or im.

d) Don't leave her until she is settled. ............. AND........

e) Ensure that she has wrapped herself in it toward the end of the communication


8) TALK... COMMUNICATE ... STAY CLOSE ...BE OPEN AND SHARE WHAT IS HAPPENING.

i hope this helps in some small way.

Every couple will develop T/their own 'rituals' .

Perhaps some of Y/you will share Y/yours?



Tags: subzone:aftercare#2 | Edit Tags

Friday September 28, 2007 - 11:25am (EST) Edit | Delete

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Comments

(5 total) Post a Comment

Thank you. Wish everyone who calls themselves dominant, and seeks to own another would read this. Can't count the ones who thought it took too long for me to regain myself after a particularly deep encounter.

Thursday September 27, 2007 - 07:32pm (MDT) Remove Comment

great blog raven as always hugggs ya

Thursday September 27, 2007 - 09:38pm (EDT) Remove Comment

thanks for reposting, sis... i am going to make sure that the next time i have "private time" with a Sir, He reads this ~ even if He is an experienced Sir... *cheshire cat grin to one of my favorite sisters, along with a huge hugggggggggg, smooooooochies on her cheek, many twirls and dips, and of course tweaks on her cute lil nose*

Thursday September 27, 2007 - 09:45pm (EDT) Remove Comment

Bah. I still say toss her a box of cookies and tell her to "walk it off".

Friday September 28, 2007 - 12:28am (CDT) Remove Comment

if They only knew that sometimes if You drop her...there is no picking her back up again...nice post, oh gorgeous one...xo

Saturday September 29, 2007 - 08:10am (PDT)
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