- Victim or Survivor: What Makes the Difference?
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RESILIENCEWhy is it that S/some P/people seem to survive the most terrible hardships, abuse and trauma and O/others seem to be perpetual victims? There is a growing body of evidence that suggests resilience is the key.
Resiliency is the ability to spring back from and successfully adapt to adversity. An increasing body of research from the fields of psychology, psychiatry, and sociology is showing that most people–including young people–can bounce back from risks, stress, crises, and trauma and experience life success. (Psychologist Sybil Wolin, Ph.D)
Resilience (or "psychological resilience") describes the capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. It is also used to indicate a characteristic of resistance to future negative events.
Resilience is adaptive ability. The process of managing and coping with hardship. It is not the exclusive tool of the superhuman/supervictim who is feted for 'making good', but it is the accumulation of small successes that occur along with faltering steps, setbacks, disappointments and even failure .
Resilience is the process of persisting in the face of adversity. We see evidence of resilience in the small details of people's lives as they try to deal constructively with the daily challenges that hardship brings.
The concept of resilience as paradox encompasses:
the psychological damage ...and
the enduring strength
that can result from struggling with hardship.
It is based on research with people
who grew up in difficult circumstances
and who are leading satisfying adult lives.
Insight - asking tough questions and giving honest answers.
Independence - distancing emotionally and physically from the sources of trouble in one's life.
Relationships - making fulfilling connections to other people.
Initiative - taking charge of problems.
Creativity - using imagination and expressing oneself in art forms.
Humor - finding the comic in the tragic.
Morality - acting on the basis of an informed conscience.
Researchers are concluding that each person has an innate capacity for resiliency, "a self-righting tendency" that operates best when people have resiliency-building conditions in their lives. These conditions are described in the Resiliency Quiz. To see how resilient YOU are why not take the quiz?......*smiles* http://www.resiliency.com/htm/resiliencyquiz.htm
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- Blue …
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Some good friends who will give support and not criticize Him/Her for what happened can help a lot to.
I love your blogs here my friend, they are very helpful for those in need and those who know some one who was had a problem.
Tuesday April 10, 2007 - 09:54am (CDT) Remove Comment
- lushv…
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((((hugs))))) i so enjoyed reading this. i roll my eyes and despair when i see people define themselves today by acts perpetrated against them years, sometimes decades, ago. Shit happens... to almost everyone at some time or another... and whether you end up as a vitim or a survivor is all down to attitude. As the skiing tenet says.. "it's not about how many times you fall down, it's about how many times you get up"
i absolutely ADORE the phrase "being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok".... *soft smiles*.... sooooo true...
*boogies off your page singing the Beyonce classic.. "I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm gonna work harder, I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, Keep on survivin'"
Tuesday April 10, 2007 - 05:27pm (BST) Remove Comment
- Surge…
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For me quite a "home" hitting blog...last year was most definitely my most challenging ever and resilience became a big factor. Quite honestly i still don't know how i picked up at times to stand up straight again and it certainly showed me that i have more strength in me than i ever knew. "fall seven times, get up eight" as well as "and this too shall pass" became my mantras. Confucius once said "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
~~~smile~~~ thanks....this was a nice read and very thought provoking :-)
Tuesday April 10, 2007 - 09:02pm (CDT) Remove Comment
- ஜღcat…
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despite this recent month, overload.. i am usually pretty resiliant.. excellent blog.. as my messenger name says tuffcat .. i usually roll with the punches bounce back pull up the bootstraps and move on.. times tho i would just like to stay down, but i am far from a quitter, regroup regenerate and go.. this was a wonderful piece sis .. hit home right where i needed it.. thank you sis for another good one.. shaking head in amazement ~tight hugs and a kotc~ belle
Wednesday April 11, 2007 - 04:04am (CDT) Remove Comment
- ஜღcat…
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oops meant to get this in there... dark humour is what gets me by at times .. picking out hubby's casket i saw a gun metal gray one looked at my brother said thats the one, hubby would of liked it cuz it was the colour of his gun.. then chosing the plot it was windy as all else.. the undertaker's hair was not moving at all, mine was helter skelter asked my brother what kind of hairspray did he think the undertaker used .. my brother almost died laffing then and there.. i sit here laffing at that memory .. for all else that read this .. please understand this about my late hubby and my relationship, he abused me, his death released me from hell.. no i'm not cold and callous, just a lot better off!!
Wednesday April 11, 2007 - 04:12am (CDT) Remove Comment
- fìrëì…
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*crawls under your angel wings and cuddles, curling up, feeling safe and secure* this blog hit home sister...thank you for this inspiring post!!!!!!!
"just because her eyes don't tear, doesn't mean her heart doesn't cry and just because she comes off strong doesn't mean anything's wrong" (gosh, i couldn't have said that any better myself! what a perfect quote...i hope you don't mind if i borrow it) much love to you and yours sister...thank you for caring for Uus! xox, fire~
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